Friday, 1 May 2009

Zebras and Whatnot

Now that we live in the Republic of Texas, things are just different. Like for example, from roughly the end of April onwards, you can’t go outside to play after 10am until about 7pm…too hot and humid. Any kind of time in that weather makes you feel like you need to kill someone, anyone, right away. Also, when you need to drive into actual civilization, it's wise to take provisions as you'll be on the road awhile.

Now, I had about five days from the time the movers delivered our furniture to when Dan would be arriving. During that time, I needed to unpack strategic boxes that would get the house livable, but not add clutter. It was inevitable that during some of that time, I would have both kids hanging around while I decided what to unpack and then where it belonged. Luckily, we live in the hill country and there is a reserve behind our house with a little stream running through it providing endless entertainment for the kids. They’re just to stay away from the "crick" (for my English friends, thats Texan for "creek" in case you're not fluent in hick) because of the water moccasins a.k.a. cotton-mouth snakes. They’re poisonous so we’re not to play with them. It's just something you get used to reminding your kids when they go out to play--goes to the statement about things being different here.

After having left the kids to their own devices for some time, Logan comes into the house complaining about Hannah, a zebra and something about his pedal car being dirty. Since I could not understand what he was on about, I followed him to the door to see if I could find some sort of context clue that would help me decipher this deranged statement. As I step out the front door I am stunned to see the hind leg of a deer on the walkway. It was just the bones and a hoof, so no fleshy, gory stuff was left—unless you consider skeletal remains gory stuff. Hannah was standing there and I asked WHERE the deer leg had come from. That was really code for "What is this THING doing here!?" but mostly, my kids can't decipher code yet, so she just answered the actual question, not the implied one. She told me she had brought it to the house from the reserve. The horror of contemplating the quantity of germs on that bit 'o carcass overwhelmed me and I moaned, “OH Hannah!” She assured me that she had used a stick to bring it up to the house but it kept falling off, so she put it on Logan’s pedal car to drive it the rest of the way over. That way I might have the privilege of viewing it, see? It really was an excellent specimen of the hind leg of a deer, but I kicked it off the walkway anyway and made Hannah go wash her hands. Then I handed her a rag and the 409 and told her she needed to clean Logan’s car. I think Hannah now knows she is not to put animal remains on her brother’s car…I don’t think I had ever spelled that out before. Do you see what I mean about things here just being different?

Oh, and just so you know, Logan STILL calls out "ZEBRA!" when he sees deer grazing in the neighborhood.


    But, does he say "zeh-bra" or "zEE-brah" ???

  2. He says "zee-bah". Not Toe-MAY-toe, not Toe-MAH-toe--somewhere in between

  3. This just in: Hannah informs me that she didn't acquire the dead animal from the reserve. No, it was from across the street in the woods of the neighbors yard. SO, now I have to wonder about the sanity of our neighbors. Do they do ritualistic animal sacrifices? Maybe they just poach deer and then toss the remains in the yard...